For those unfamiliar with the term, Reverse Culture Shock basically has to do with the problems associated with readjustment to the culture of one's own country after having been abroad for a length of time. Basically, after having gone to another country; consumed the local food and drink; inhaled the air; listened to the strains of music and words voiced in exotic tongues (which may not sound quite so foreign by the time one has to return home), the traveler has, in a small way, allowed a part of his former self to become lost, temporarily forgotten. So, Reverse Culture Shock has to do with examining the changes one has made while abroad and the struggle to make them a relevant part of life at home among family and friends who may not quite understand.
Humans, it seem, have a tendency to forgo one way when they adopt another. As with technology, when we discover something better, we're usually very willing to do away with something else that has grown old and superfluous. The same goes for ideas; points of view; perception. Seasoned travelers (or those with like tendencies) understand that change is often necessary. They understand that living a life wherein each day passes indistinguishable from the next is the stuff of forgetfulness and nervous breakdowns. To escape what might feel like an increasingly shrinking environment, one might go abroad, see the world, and in so doing, completely forget that regular life in one's own country, in the environment in which one was raised and for which little is surprising, can be mind-numbingly dull. Perhaps living in an environment that is wholly different from what one is familiar with, aids in the ability a traveler often has to view an old subject with new eyes, which makes change not only inevitable, but also a factor that could prove detrimental in his re-adjustment to 'home.'
Essentially, once one has modified one's old behaviors overseas, sometimes it's difficult to go back. The process of re-adapting can be alarmingly similar to devolving. While changes can become apparent in a variety of extents —morally, philosophically, politically—in an effort to remain neutral, let's imagine this problem in terms of food: Basically, It's like eating authentic Korean food every day for a year and returning home to a place where you could potentially get some kimchi—maybe—if you're willing to endure two hours in a car and don't mind the taste of over-salted, not at all spicy, limp cabbage. Chewing, one's friends remark how excellent and unique it all is. Meanwhile, one suppresses an urge to spit.
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Some might think it crazy to imagine ever feeling ill at ease among their family and friends, but, without a large network of people speaking one's language, eating the food to which one is accustomed or engaging in familiar religious or social practices, the traveler will surely feel out of place upon his/her immediate return home. Abroad and lost in the blurry alien mass of people, street signs, places of worship, and visceral cognizance, there are many factors that can inadvertently (and with a sense of some necessity) alter a person. The problem is in making these changes--which may be beneficial to one's life overseas—apply to a life at home.
We sometimes hear of the process of cultural disintegration—some call it “the melting pot--” that happens among immigrant groups who decide to settle permanently in a different country with a well-established way of living (like North America ). While 'the melting pot' is a process in which one isn't exactly given a choice but to accept the culture (in order to get a job, go to school, etc.), it is also one that tends to happen gradually, as immigrant groups have a tendency to establish their own cultural communities within their new countries and are therefore not cut off entirely from their culture. Eventually, they are accepted as citizens and are not looked upon as curiosities. For a traveler, however, the situation is very different.
In general, people who leave their own country with the intention of coming back to it (sometime in the not too incredibly distant future), do so with purpose and are generally aware that they have a chance to reinvent or enrich themselves (whether in a cultural sense or spiritually). However, unlike an immigrant to an ethnically diverse land (where language abilities are the principle requisite), throughout his/her life abroad, a traveler of a different ethnicity will most likely never be mistaken for a local, no matter how well s/he has adjusted or how long s/he's lived in one particular area. Generally, the constant perception of oneself as an outsider is acceptable to a person while overseas. However, returning to one's own country to discover that having changed a great deal, one remains foreign; out of place, can be very depressing and lonely, like it's impossible to belong anywhere.
Also, unlike immigrants, those who go abroad temporarily are also often alone. This means that, at the end of the day, unlike most immigrants, the traveler will not be surrounded by much of his/her own culture's influence. And, because of the traveler's aloneness, it will become very necessary for him/her to assert himself, to seek out what s/he needs and to make sure s/he can understand whatever might be going on around him/her in basic, every-day situations. Basically, the traveler has to become a stronger, more self-reliant person.
Depending on the traveler's disposition prior to his/her trip, upon his return home, s/he may seem different in the eyes of his/her friends or family. While becoming less wishy-washy may seem like an improvement, changes in an established personality can be a bit strange or uncomfortable for those who know him/her, especially after recalling the old version of the traveler while s/he was away. Likewise, aware of the changes s/he has undergone, the traveler may struggle with whether or not to suppress them when among those who expect him/her to behave in a certain way. While this scenario may seem a bit too seeped in neurotic self-examination, regardless, this sort of awkwardness and inner conflict can be very upsetting to a newly returned traveler, especially one who has become accustomed to being his/her own person; a stranger in the world (and therefore immune to an outside search for precedents).
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Having established that living abroad can change a person, notwithstanding, the approach of one's return is still an attractive thing for many living abroad. Anthony Trollope wrote in 'Returning Home'(1864): “It is, I think, to those who live farthest away from home, to those who find the greatest difficulty in visiting home, that the word [home] conveys the sweetest idea.” Basically, having been away from home for an extended period of time, the concept of home has a nasty tendency of being elevated in one's mind, often to much undeserved height.
Regarding one's home and country as the paragon of all that is comfortable and good in the world might come naturally to one who has grown jaded, not only at the comments made about the strangeness of one's alien appearance, but at the unintentional jabs directed at one's cultural quirks (or lack thereof). A similar surge of patriotism may result in one who has wearied of frantically trying to recall certain essential phrases in moments of duress, or who has grown tired of feeling illiterate, left in the dark.
Yes, in moments of vulnerability (which happen to conveniently coincide with extreme exhaustion, and sometimes, the drawing to a close of one's time overseas), even the most escapist among us seem to forget that there must have been a very good reason in the first place to venture forth, as it were, into the unknown. Because we remember what we need to get us through the day, sometimes even cynics crawl into bed at night, dreaming of home. The fact is, too many of us lose sight of the actuality of things, especially after having grown accustomed to an environment that may at first have seemed particularly surreal.
Many of us are raised with the idea that home and family are important, and that no matter where one journeys in life, there will aways be somewhere to come back to. Notwithstanding, if this seemingly quaint, greeting-card-esque notion of 'home' doesn't quite apply, as it often seems not to (some gag-reflexes just aren't strong enough), sometimes, somewhere in one's world-weary mind, a tiny fleck of pure nostalgia will erupt. The particularly stubborn side-effects of an affliction of this nature tend to consist of the idealized notion that not only is home truly “where the heart is,” but also where, at the end of the day, one should “hang his hat.” Over-usage of corny, archaic adages may also result, apparently...
The problem is that the longer one dwells on (rather than 'at') home, or his perception of it (or how it ought to be), the more resolute one's expectation of total familiarity becomes. However, as previously mentioned, traveling does have a tendency to change a person and more likely than not, family and friends will be slow to understand where one is coming from, as some things can only be learned by life experience. For those returned from abroad and still caught in the mindset of the departed country, getting someone to muster enthusiasm for one's travel stories or to understand one's references, can be highly frustrating and disillusioning.
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Though the comforts of home might be nice for a brief amount of time, for a newly returned traveler, unfortunately, the sensation tends to wear down sooner than might be expected. Travel, in all its possibilities, is undeniably exciting. When one takes a trip or lives abroad, however, one often becomes so consumed in one's own life and adventures, that very little consideration is directed at those still at home. While this is a generality, of course, and probably won't apply to everyone, the point is that when we're stimulated by the things around us, time doesn't seem to drag so heavily.
Sometimes, caught up in one's own sense of things, one can forget that at home, things are probably proceeding with a thudding regularity. This also means that even with the absence of a friend or family member abroad, life can carry on like clockwork and that one's much lauded return will probably only cause a minor and very temporary ripple.
Basically, it seems that traveling or working abroad can be a somewhat selfish endeavor, as in one's mind, an enormous amount of attention and discussion (not to mention the inevitable viewing of photographs) ought to be directed towards the adventurous, absent party. The notion that life resumes immediately after you are dropped off at the airport, and most likely, without even a rupture in the figurative stitch, is sometimes a little too depressing for the average traveler to take into consideration.
Likewise, the realization that the bright, cheerful reaction to one's return home (anything occurring on solid ground does tend to seem mildly halcyon after twenty-odd hours on airplanes, however) is not to be permanent, can be the happiness-shattering effect one needs to comprehend that one's family did in fact, carry on; that time did not actually cease to be in one's absence.
While it's true that at first, there will likely be a general sense of excitement and lots of questions to answer (which can be exhausting and repetitive), eventually, after all the stories have been recalled (and embellished/censored depending on the audience) and everyone has tired of references they can't understand, life will suddenly even out once more to that dreaded, ego-deflating, reason-for-having-left-in-
'Time' is one of those concepts that is generally difficult to wrap one's mind around; not so much for an inability to understand its absolute necessity in modern life, but rather, because of the various ways it might be perceived. The fact of the matter is, that, though it may seem perfectly reasonable to measure time by space, watching with the usual apathy as one's second hand ticks steadfastly on (this only works if you wear an archaic analogue watch), completing its anticipated circuit, time is very rarely actual.
Basically, while a year can be remembered by one person as intoxicating, visceral and blindingly (and disappointingly) quick to end, for someone else, that same year might have very well been long, exhausting, and essentially, the worst ever. For a person whose time abroad ticked itself out in the former case, returning home to a family and group of friends for whom life probably plodded along in a very redundant manner (one which rarely allows for the recall of small moments of happiness, it would seem), the slow-down (of both life and time) upon one's return and after the initial excitement of one's return has faded, might be somewhat demoralizing. One might regret having ever returned at all, or find one's self up at night, conceiving of ways to escape to the airport in the early pre-dawn hours.
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Although it is not the intention to provide an exaggerated examination of the effects of Reverse Culture Shock, eventually, like any other problem (death, addiction, or separation, for instance), the 'victim' will have to suck it up and become re-adjusted to the reality of his life, no matter how bland or predictable.
In popular culture, the steps toward attaining acceptance are sometimes poked at (often with comic effect) with reference to the Kübler-Ross model, which suggests that before a person can acquiesce to life, he'll go through stages of denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. While the writer is unaware of any fellow traveler's experience of Reverse Culture Shock reaching such dramatic levels, perhaps, in some mildly neurotic, psychosomatic way, it's possible.
For instance, when one is in that transient sort of state between the return home and, in some cases, starting all over with life (getting a new job, a new apartment, etc.), a person can spend a lot of time accomplishing very little other than making social calls, and basically telling the same stories and explaining the same things over and over again. It is at this point that one can ignore the fact that life has suddenly become uninteresting and that one's friends are becoming bored (one might defend oneself, muttering aversely about jet-lag and transition). Hence, the first stage: denial.
When the interest one's family takes in the traveler's return suddenly drops to a disappointing, low, or (for instance) when it becomes clear that, despite one's frequent and devoted use of on-line albums, they haven't actually taken a look yet; stage two is palpable. A person newly reunited with family and friends can become rather offended when people seem uninterested in the significant, missed events of one's life overseas; Anger, then.
Having overcome most of one's frustration and realizing that 'jet-lag' (see denial) is no longer a good excuse for one's general unhappiness, perhaps a person might begin to console himself by making unrealistic plans to return abroad as soon as possible, or to plot out in one's mind all the things that could be done to make life reflect one's time overseas. Working oneself up in this way, bargaining, can of course, only lead to the next step.
Depression can hit hard when the reality of one's situation becomes clear. Generally, the prospect of having a lot of work to do (should one have to, in effect, start over) is a bit demoralizing for most people; it's even worse for a person who may have fallen out of touch with all his old contacts and whose current friends are several continents and many time zones away. Furthermore, the reality of yielding to a life at home that seems a lot less invigorating than the one known abroad can seem like a step backwards; a step backwards, blindfolded, on the precipice of a cliff, of course.
Acceptance, finally, is what happens when one finally moves on (perhaps because the absurdity of having gone through four psychologically recognized stages is enough to snap anyone into action). Basically, there's only so much time a normal person can sulk about the dissatisfying aspects of his or her life before trying to ameliorate them.
It's at this point, that hearing one's own language is no longer such a shock (commenting about how 'weird it is' will no longer be among one's most over-used expressions, either). Also, one's personality has a tendency to re-adjust itself, elastic-like, according to one's immediate needs (yelling with urgency at one's overseas boss to help jog his memory about an overdue pay check might be substituted with more passive aggressive means at home, for instance).
Essentially, Reverse Culture Shock can be unpleasant and apparently, given the Kübler-Ross treatment, somewhat emotional, though it tends to last no more than a month or so. However, some people are barely affected (until of course, they read otherwise).
Whatever the case, have a great trip home.
